My Quest To End Slut Shaming

Feminist-Slut-Prude-Skirt-Length-250x405Let’s get one thing strait, I may love being covered up but that does not mean I support slut shaming. The practice is despicable and disgusting. I lost a friend to slut shaming.

I went to a Catholic high school and we had a no uniform day. Those days are always a big deal.

My friend was wearing a shirt that accidently rode up. The sweatshirt she had on had on was not enough protection. The head nun saw that and spoke quite loudly “Are you trying to he a whore and impress Satan? You dress like a whore with the way you dress. You need to go see the chaplain to confess your sin.”

This began a wave of bullying. It took the word of one to begin the ultimate shame, bullying. Due to being on the girls hockey team, we were already social outcasts and the nun made it worse.  The bullying got out of control when we got to school and there was hate letters in her locker telling her what a slut she was. The school sat by and let it happen. They had the power to do something at least on the grounds but did nothing.

Her parents were in the process of getting her transfered to another school. She would have had the week off since it was Christmas and would have started at her new school after the break. Christmas day that year was one of the worst days of my life. Her brother called me at home to tell me she was dead and committed suicide. Instead of going to a Bruins game as a team, we had a to say good bye as a team.

After the break was over the ones who bullied tried to say what a great person she was and did not understand why she did what she did. That is the first time I learned the meaning of crocodile tears. I had no problems telling them they had blood on their hands.

The nun who called her a whore was spewing how she was burning in hell for her sinful ways. My team stood up to her and we all had to forfeit a game but it was worth it. I told her I regret nothing.

The best day was when she was removed from power by the diocese and was sent to a convent. Nothing could undo the damage she did. I have been out of school for nearly ten years and my high school has tried to get them to donate to the alumni fund. No way, I have self respect.

Slut shaming is bullying and all bullying is not acceptable. Slut shaming will not solve problems but reasoning will.


Beat The Heat With Your Close On

964db5dd8544bf4aa3edd1f1b30af5e5It is getting warmer and warmer, hot in some places. Now we are getting into the season of the ultra skimpy clothes. I hate being treated like a piece of meat  and that is what I feel happens when I step outside in micro clothing. It is your body that is paid attention and not you.

Here is how I cover up and I do not always go the skirt route.

Tops-no cleavage or crop tops. Look for light weight and materials that can breathe

Shorts-I wear them all of the time but they come down closer to my knees. I will even wear Capri pants too.

Cover ups- have light weight materials for times when you need more coverage to keep the sun off of your body. I have an ultra light cardign, kimonos, denim jacket if it gets nippy and so forth.

Skirts- It may surprise you but I am the ultimate Tom boy. I play sports that are not skirt friendly such as ice hockey. I will never give it up. I save skirts for something special like going out to eat. Just make sure they are ultra light, go to the knee at the shortest and you can bend without your underwear showing.

To The Beach And Pool The Modest Way

SBG2011_RoxyHotChipRashGuard_05192011I know for some, it would involve a long swim skirt but I surf. Wearing a bikini is like walking around in your Bra and underwear. I used to wear a bikini exposed up to two years ago. What happened is I wore a bikini on a water park slide. The top and bottom came off at the same time and I landed in the pool naked. Never, have I been so humiliated.

Secondly, I want sun protection. I have a family history of melanoma and I do not want to be the latest victim in my family.

Third, I do not men and boys looking at me for showing all of me. I rather show them that I am cool and can surf.

So, if you are going to do practical modesty for the water, here is what I do. Hold onto your bikini. You can wear them as support under your board shorts and rash guard. You can go on line and order womens and girls rash guards and board shorts. Just make sure they are chlorine friendly.


Modesty In The Hospital For Me

I am a surgical assitant, I work in the operating room to save lives. My days are spent wearing surgical scrubs, surgical cap, a gown that goes to my calf, gloves, and sneakera. Trust me, I do not look like a piece of meat. I try to project that I am competent with me being so young. I want in on every type of a case.  I do trauma mostly.

In the medical field, I have a chance to be covered. If you do not mind things like say in surgery that you have to expose your arms to scrub in, you will be fine. I work with an female Orthodox Jewish surgeon. We had a talk about it and she says it is the intent. You intend to heal someone so having your arms exposed to scrub them is fine. She finds practical ways to cover at the hospital. She keeps her surgical cap on at all times. Due to the fact that you can’t exactly wear a skirt in the operating room, she is covered with the gown. Now outside of the operating room, she keeps a long lab jacket for outside of the operating room.

I also work with a female Muslim surgeon. She has to scrub in like everyone else and does not mind exposing her arms for the cause of helping someone. There are  all sorts of surgical caps and she has one that works.  She wears traditional scrubs which are loose, not like what some of the nurses wear. Due to the fact that a surgical gown is modest, no issue there. Her system of talking to a patient’s family is to have a long lab coat in.

She told me her parents support her becoming a doctor and are fine with what she does in surgery. She also says that it if you are trying to tempt on purpose, then you are in the wrong. She tells that if you can not cope with some temporary exposure of skin then you should not work in that specialty.